Jobseeker Columnist (June 2009)
Crash! The sound of conflict.
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Isn’t it terrible to have peace broken by some silly conflict? Be it in the office or at home, or in the car on the way to either. Right now, just imagine that relaxing song you’ve heard over
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and over again, that slow, soothing jazz or chillout song, that calming song that reminds you of your last holiday in the beach or the lounge by the pool. Feel that serenity, the calmness
Now imagine a loud heavy metal rock song.
Doesn’t it mess around with our head? Doesn’t it turn our face from a smile to a frown? (unless of course you find heavy metal relaxing). Conflict is like the heavy metal music on a nice quiet day, it is unwelcomed, it is frowned upon and it is disliked. Avoiding conflict can sometimes be a challenge can’t it? We are all human and we all have our own thought patterns and beliefs and when someone doesn’t agree with us, we think they’re wrong. Are they really wrong? We can’t both be right can we?
We can. This is the basis of dealing with conflict.
I used to be such a judgmental person. Okay, I’m still judgmental, though less than before (it’s something I’m still working on in my life) and it affects my relationship with the people around me in a very negative manner.
It destroyed my relationships with my ex-colleagues, it made me bitter about my family and I found that my circle of friends was mysteriously getting smaller. It took 27 years of my life to finally figure out that something was wrong. I finally thought I better find out what was wrong and FIX IT! In my head I thought: -
“I’m surrounded by idiots!”
“My life would be so much better if the people around me would just get their act together!”
“Humph… I’ll just do it myself.”
Is it clear yet that I was being judgemental? Then when I started my journey of personal development, it was hard to accept what the books on it were saying. They said that the world is a reflection of what is inside me. So if I am experiencing a lot of conflicts in my life, it is because I have a lot of conflicts inside of me. If I am treating other people badly, it is because I treat myself badly. If I think that other people don’t meet my standards, it’s because I don’t meet my own standards.
But the longer I worked on myself, the more I saw the ugly side of me and the more I set out to improve myself. This journey hit my ego hard. This journey chewed on my sense of rightness and totally destroyed my belief systems. I am blessed that it did. Today I have fewer conflicts, fewer disputes and more peace.
Peace is such a beautiful word isn’t it? It’s like that song from Diana Krall entitled “So Nice”.
They say forgiveness is the key to peace, and the key to forgiveness is understanding, and the key to understanding is knowledge. So head over to Borders and get yourself some of these titles: -
• I'm OK-You're OK - Thomas A. Harriss
• The Road Less Travelled - M. Scott Peck
• The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (this is a cute one that is full of thought provoking child’s talk)
Peace,
Edmond is a qualified civil engineer who has been working in the engineering field for 5 years. Switching career in motivational speaking and training, he was the performance consultant at the Malaysian chapter of Dale Carnegie Training. His love of motivating and inspiring people prompted him to start up Education Republic with a few others.
He can be reached at edmond@edurepublic.com
(Source: Jobsdb Malaysia)
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